What Benefit Does A Man Receive From "LOVE?"

By Sean T. Alexandre

This is something I've been thinking heavily about for a few years now. Even as a child, the whole idea of love just never sat well with me. The thought I'm pondering is something I've been trying to find an answer to since again, childhood. The thought is: What benefit does a man receive from love in American society?
It seems to me that the whole love thing is setup to benefit only women. Think about it: A man is the one who's told that he has to court the woman (in other words, he has to chase the woman), even if its her who's interested in him and not the other way around. During this chase, the woman is likely to play games and send the guy running in circles. A man is also told that he's supposed to be successful in life, not for himself, but to one day take care of a woman. A man is told that after the woman has him jump through hoops a.k.a "courting," he's supposed to support her financially. Then the man is told to marry the woman, making their relationship legally binding. If things don't work out, the woman is rewarded half of the man's assets plus spousal support... predicated upon whether or not a prenuptial agreement was signed. Even if there was a prenuptial agreement is signed, the law is so much in favor of women that they will find loopholes around that.

With all of that said, again, what benefit does a man receive from this love thing in American society? I want you women who may be reading this to ask yourselves this seriously. The reason I'm posing this question to you society, especially women is because a lot of them are wondering why they're single and having a difficult time changing that. it's because men are now catching on to the American style of "love." Its setup only to benefit the woman. From birth, a man is pretty much told that his sole purpose for being on earth is to cater to women. A man has to be damn near Superman to please a woman in today's society and that's why so many men today have emotional and mental issues... because of the unrealistic burden placed upon men. But society doesn't want to talk about that.

At the same time, women aren't being taught to earn the things they seek. Instead, they're being taught that they're entitled to the utmost respect and the finer things in life by way of a man providing them just because they're a woman. Other men have caught on. Personally, I've dropped out of dating, relationships... etc. I want nothing to do with it because I don't get any benefit from it. Besides, as Gordon Gekko so eloquently stated in the movie Wall Street: "We are smart enough not to buy in to the oldest myth running; love. Fiction created by people to keep them from jumping out of windows. "

Some of you may be wondering, "If you've dropped out of dating/relationships, what about family?" That's simple. Marrying for love is a westernized idea. In other nations, people marry as sort of a business arrangement. Both parties bring something to the table (usually both families are well off or both people benefit mutually), they come together in order to have a family. Nothing more. Why do you think a guy like Jay-Z marries Beyonce? Or a guy like Will Smith marries Jada Pinkett? There are average everyday women prettier than both Jada and Beyonce. But its not about that or love, its about those two couples combining assets (which Beyonce and Jada has and the average woman don't) and raising a family... a business deal. That part of society knows what everyday society doesn't, which is... marrying for love is a fool's game. Marrying for love is why the American divorce rates are so dismal. Marrying for love is just not natural, especially when there's only one party receiving all the benefits... the women.

There is an exception to the rule, of course. I've encountered many married couples who have been marries for longer than I've been alive. Some of you think they married for love, but not entirely. During those times, a woman had something to bring to the table that the man couldn't bring and vice versa, and they got together and started families. Under that agreement, their marriages flourished for decades upon decades.

I know some of you aren't going to want to hear this because as a woman, you receive all the benefits of love as we know it. But that idea of love is why you're single. How much love can there really be if only one person is receiving all the benefits of that relationship? Don't believe me? For starters, stop your average woman and ask her what she desires in a man and I can almost guarantee you that she will have a bunch of outrageous demands, but she won't be able to offer even one-tenth of the things she's asking for.

That's my take on love in America. My view is brutal, its unorthodox, but you can't deny that that's how things are...
Sean T. Alexandre is an experienced investor, entrepreneur, research and writer for First Point Capital, LLC, a company formed to serve the needs of up and coming entrepreneurs, investors, and scholars who wish to reach opulent goals and stay consciously afloat in these fast changing times.

He's Married - What Do I Do?

By Hannah E Fairfield

Are you in love with a man who is married to someone else? Do you think it may be time to end the relationship with him before things get more complicated? Will it be too difficult to get over him? Believe it or not, lots of women have found themselves in your very situation. Deciding how to handle it is not easy and can lead to many hurt feelings and broken hearts.
Analyzing your feelings for him is a good place to start. Are you truly in love with this man, or you in love with wanting something that is unattainable? A man who has committed his life to someone can subconsciously appeal to you for a variety of reasons. You go in knowing that the relationship is likely to fail, and oddly enough it can be a comfort knowing that if it does, it will not be your fault.

Trying to gauge whether or not your feelings for him are legitimate is not an easy task. You must look at how your relationship has progressed. Being "in love" typically means that you are capable of sacrifice to make the other person feel whole and happy - is an extramarital affair really what this guy needs to feel complete? Or are you letting him take advantage of you, as well as his wife?
Another thing to take into consideration is the reality of whether or not this relationship would work, even if he were to leave his wife for you. Every day he would face ridicule for abandoning his marriage, and you will never be wholly accepted by the people in his life as anything but the "other woman." Besides the weight of responsibility, you will always know in the back of your mind that if he cheated on her, he may very well cheat on you. Many people who cheat do so for the thrill as opposed to fulfilling any legitimate desires that are left unattended in the current relationship.

The last thing to realize is that he is probably not going to leave her for you. He married this woman, and whatever reason he is seeking out your companionship is not likely to end that. Divorce is a long and painful procedure. This is especially true when there is money or children involved. Do you truly believe that his wife will give him an easy divorce when she realizes he's been having an affair? He knows this and you need to, as well. Even if his marriage does end, the divorce and ensuing legal and emotional battles could take months, even years. Are you ready for that kind of commitment to a man that couldn't keep his?

Keep in mind that there are at least three people in this scenario who can be hurt. No matter what he tells you about his current relationship, his wife is still a person with feelings and desires. And if he is willing to hurt the woman he married, what makes you think he won't do the same to you later on down the line?

Hannah Fairfield is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.

Suspicion Ruins Relationships: How to Stop It

By Hannah E Fairfield

Are you one of those women who can't stand to not know where her man is and what he's doing? If he doesn't pick up the phone on the first ring, do you get nervous? When you finally do see him, do you question him on every detail of the time you spent apart? These are all major signs of jealousy, and this could be devastating to your relationship. While some insecurity is normal, acting on it is a sign of weakness. You need to learn how to stop being suspicious or you could lose your man forever.
The first thing you have to do is realize that these insecurities are your own problem, not his. You have to know and understand that your jealous behavior is a result of something wrong in your heart, not necessarily something wrong in your relationship. Perhaps you've been cheated on in the past, or maybe you're just nervous because you care about him so much. Either way, you need to recognize that the problem lies within you and it must be addressed by you. Keep in mind that he's dating you because he chose you; there is a reason he wants to be with you. Focus on the positive aspects of yourself and your relationship and these insecurities will begin to fade.

You must also learn to trust the guy you're dating. Sure, some men cheat and lie, but that is not all of them. Any guy would get irritated if his girlfriend was constantly questioning his every move. Your fears are based in something within yourself, whether it is a negative past or a general lack of confidence. But if you want the relationship to succeed, you absolutely must understand that he is not to blame for these insecurities.

If you find your insecurities crippling, perhaps it's time to discuss it with your partner. Don't be accusatory and don't make him out to be the bad guy. Rather, let him know what you are feeling and why. If he really cares for you, he will help you work through the problem. But that does not mean he can do all the work for you! You must learn to handle your negative feelings about yourself and your relationship, because when you can control them you can reason them away.
Treating a partner with constant suspicion can easily be the death of any relationship. When you learn how to deal with the insecurities that cause these feelings, you will have a healthier relationship and feel better about yourself, too.

Hannah Fairfield is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.

Top Romantic Movies for Valentine's Day

By Ashish Kothari

With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, you want to be sure to plan every last detail for the special day to show how much you love that special person in your life. The more preparation and planning you do, the more your significant other will feel valued and appreciated. Make sure you plan a good restaurant, choose a few Valentine's Day movies, and purchase some romantic gifts.
Be sure to find the perfect movie to watch that the two of you can enjoy. You'll want to choose from a few romantic movies to set the tone of the day and make it a memorable evening. Classic romantic movies are always a good idea -- choose from

• Gone with the Wind
• When Harry Met Sally
• Pride and Prejudice

Each have stood the test of time and even if you've seen them before, they can be enjoyed just as much, if not more, on Valentine's Day.
If you prefer comedies, try to watch a film or two that include

• Serendipity
• The Wedding Singer
• Pretty Woman
• Never Been Kissed
• Sweet Home Alabama
• How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
• 27 Dresses
• The Wedding Date

You can also choose from some of the most popular Valentine's Day movies that have been made. Valentine's Day is a romantic comedy that is light-hearted and is centered on different couples in different situations. Sleepless in Seattle is another favorite that focuses on fate and two people finally meeting on Valentine's Day.

Although choosing the perfect film to watch with the love of your life is important, you also can't forget other aspects of the night. Make sure you choose a couple of Valentine's Day gifts. You'll first want to choose something sentimental, like a charm bracelet or a framed photo of the two of you. Pair it with a card that expresses your love for that passion. Make it meaningful and something they'll always remember.

Next, find a couple of romantic gifts to set the mood. You can try for vanilla scented candles, delicious chocolates, or bubble bath. Don't be afraid to get fun gifts. Ideas include Jumbo I Love You cookie cutters, Naughty Dot to Dot Books, Jumbo Heart Post It Notes, or Tea to My Heart Tea Infuser. All of these will make for good laughs and good memories with your significant other.
Between a tasteful movie, some delicious chocolates, and a few Valentine's day gifts, you'll be well prepared to share the special day with your special someone. They'll feel loved and valued that you put so much time and detail into the one romantic date of the year, and you'll be sure to score a few brownie points. Even if a few things go wrong, they'll know you put time and effort into making them feel loved. Oh, and don't forget to give some flowers!

DannaBananas.com - Online Gift Shop for unique, unusual, funny, and valentine's day gifts and ideas.

Can I Change My Abusive Relationship?

By Hannah E Fairfield

Are you currently involved with a man who is aggressive? Are you confused, scared or depressed because the man you love has physically or verbally harmed you? Have you thought of leaving him but haven't made a decision yet? Sadly, you are not the only one. Women all over the world are trapped in abusive relationships where the men they love treat them poorly. You may reason that he has only struck you once, but even that is unacceptable. It's only "only once" until the next time he hurts you, and sometimes these situations can get so out of hand that irreparable damage is done. The thought of leaving your abusive boyfriend or husband may be scary, but it something you should consider for your own safety.

There Is Help Out There
For most women, the easiest people to reach out to are family and friends. Choose people that you love and trust, people who care about you and will protect you when you need it most. During this time it is very important to stay close to the people who love and support you without violence.
If you are nervous or embarrassed about approaching friends or family with your domestic violence issues, there are many organizations out there that exist solely to help women like you. Often times these organizations are even staffed by women who have been in your position. This is a good way to seek counseling, advice and even obtain various resources to help you when you decide to leave, such as shelter or legal councel. It is advisable to not telling your abusive partner that you are going to be seeking help as he may try to circumvent your efforts.

Be Strong
If his abuse is only through his language, make it known that you are a strong woman who will not take that kind of treatment. If he is regularly hurting your feelings, putting you down or otherwise belittling you, don't stand for it. If he continues to berate you, walk away. Do not stoop to his level as this can only escalate the problem of aggression. Let him know that you will not stick around if he continues to verbally abuse you, and make sure that you don't.

Knowing When It's Time to Leave
If your boyfriend or husband is regularly making you uncomfortable, upset or physically hurting you, it is time to go. Many of us give men far too many chances to change or to rectify their poor behavior, but if that change was possible and your partner really wanted to save his relationship with you, it would not be a struggle. If he strikes you, go. Don't empathize with him, don't allow him to explain or apologize, and don't wait around for him to do it again. There is no excuse for a man to ever, ever assault the woman he is in a relationship with. This is not love, this is control. You will not be able to salvage this relationship, so it is best to cut your losses and seek help immediately. If you fear for your safety, contact trusted family members, friends, a domestic abuse crisis center, or even your local police.

To find out more about how to get male attention, click Signs He Wants You. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man Fall in Love with you.
Hannah Fairfield is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.

Why Do You Settle For Less Than You Deserve?

By Denise LaFrance

One of the realities of life is that we don't have total control over everything in it. We do, however, have control over many things through the choices we make. Every choice has ramifications-whether it's the food we eat, the relationship we are in or the job we take. For many of us, it's easier to let things happen to us than to make a choice about getting what we really want. Many women I've worked with are so afraid of being alone, they admit to consciously settling for someone they know isn't the right one for them. They are not driven by love for another person, but by their fear of not being in a relationship at all. Inevitably, these women wake up one day in relationships that are totally wrong for them, asking themselves, "How did I get here?" The answer for most is usually either, "I settled for what came vs. what was right for me", or "I got what I wanted vs. what I needed."

The reason this tends to happen to so many women is that there are thoughts and feelings that easily convince us to settle. For some it is low self-esteem. Women who don't think they "deserve more than what they can get" are often the ones who consistently find themselves in bad relationships. For other women it may be a desire to be in a comfortable relationship, where there is nothing beyond a quiet routine. But without growth of any kind, they can find themselves being taken advantage of and are often left for a more stimulating partner. And the biggest of them all-fear. Fear that we'll make poor choices, so we make no choices at all. The problem is that by surrendering our choices, we help to create a "this stuff always happens to me" mentality.

Based on the above, I advise you to do some introspective work here. How often have you settled for things in life versus choosing them, in relationships or elsewhere? What drove you to that settling? Was it fear, low self-esteem or a desire to escape a different situation? And once you've answered those questions, would you make a different decision today and why?

Now, let's examine two elements that are involved in every decision you make-want vs. need. When it comes to relationships, you may say you want someone who is good looking, makes a great living and loves to travel. In reality, what you need may be someone who becomes more attractive as you get to know them, comes home happy because they LOVE what they do and whose world revolves around your home together. Discerning the difference between what you want and what you need will help you make choices that will be much better for you long-term. In other words, choices about what is right for you based on your values, your beliefs and what you REALLY want for yourself long term will always lessen the chances of you settling for something less than you want or deserve.

Working through issues that keep you in a cycle of settling for less is crucial if you want enduring contentment and satisfaction. A coach can help you identify what you need, based on your values and beliefs, as well as to look at the way you go about making choices. This can be critical in helping you feel empowered and certain that you are not settling for less than you deserve.
If you find yourself unable to sustain healthy relationships, it's time to look in the mirror and identify the role you've played. If you'd like help with how to better your chances of relationship success, call me to set up a free 30-minute consultation. denise@emergeintoyou.com or 207-699-4244.

Why Do I Keep Having the Same Relationship Problems?

By A J Gabriel

Many people are baffled when they find themselves experiencing the same type of relationship problems, over and over again, with different partners or the same partner. They often conclude that it's the partner that is the problem, and feel victimized by the ubiquity of this issue. We, however, have a different stance on this, one that emphasizes personal responsibility. And one that is best exemplified by the 1993 Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day. While many see this movie as another mindless, goofy Bill Murray movie, there is a deep, profound message here, for relationships in particular and life in general. On the surface, Murray plays a jaded weatherman who is forced to relive the same Groundhog Day over and over and over again until he learns how to truly love. Each morning he awakens to the horror that his life has not changed at all, that he is forced to repeat the same day over yet again, with the same small-town people he despises saying the same things and doing the same things they always do. No matter what he tries to do, even killing himself, every morning he is back in the exact same situation. There is no escape from his daily living nightmare. Without anyone to talk to who understands what he is going through, Murray engages in a very slow process of trial and error. He has all eternity to practice in, so he tries just about everything in an effort to get to another day.

Without realizing it, many people find themselves in Murray's situation, as they find themselves always waking up to the same type of intimate relationship, over and over again, year after year, regardless of who they are with. For some unknown reason, every partner they have ever been with doesn't quite have what it takes to give them the love they truly desire. Every relationship ultimately ends up in the same stale place, missing something essential, or repeating a unhealthy pattern of distance, unavailability, neglect or even abuse.

The lesson of Groundhog Day is that nothing will change in our lives until we change from the inside out. Our lives are a perpetual treadmill of opportunities for learning, constantly coming our way, again and again, until we heed the call and shift our attitudes, perceptions, feelings and/or behavior. As long as Murray used, manipulated and lied to people, to gratify his own ego and for his own selfish, condescending amusement, he kept getting the same results. It was only when he began to cultivate and act with genuine compassion, empathy and love for others that he got a different result. When he stopped blaming and feeling victimized by his situation and took responsibility for the fact that this was partially his own creation, it finally shifted.

So if you feel stuck on an endless treadmill of unfulfilling relationships, or no relationships at all, look inside for the answers. Who and what are you attracting into your life? What gratification do you get from reliving these behaviors and feelings over and over again? What needs to shift inside of you before you start getting a different result? What lesson have you not learned yet? What keeps coming up again and again in every relationship, or every attempt at trying to start a relationship? What is the universe trying so hard to tell you, that you just don't understand?
Like Murray, we have all of eternity to learn our lessons. We can bring our dysfunctional patterns from day to day, from relationship to relationship, or even from life to life, if we need to. But for many of us, there comes a point when the pain, frustration, loneliness or dissatisfaction cracks through our denial and defenses, and we realize that we are the ones who must change.

Many of us cannot see our own blind spots in relationships, and need the guidance of others to help us through the darkness. Fortunately, when we are ready to learn, to listen, and to discover the truth about ourselves and our relationships, we have many more options than Bill Murray's eternal trial and error. We can start right now with humility, remembering the wisdom of Suzuki Roshi, who said, "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's there are few." Admit that you are an "expert" at some dysfunctional relationship pattern that you may not even realize you are creating, so certain are you that it comes from someone else. By invoking your beginner's mind, with a genuine curiosity and wonder about yourself and your relationship patterns, you open up the possibility of new ideas, new learning, new responsibilities, new attitudes and new behaviors entering into your consciousness, your relationships and your life. And like Bill Murray, there will come a day when you awaken to a different song on the radio and a different song in your heart. Only then can you experience a higher level of fulfillment, and begin to understand the next opportunity for learning which is patiently waiting for you, whenever you are ready to receive the call.
www.aboutloves.net You deserve a problem free relationship starting from now.

How to Deal With Loneliness and Heartbreak on Valentine's Day

By Angela Zoile

Are you struggling with getting over a recent breakup and NOT sure how you are going to deal with Valentines Day? Do you worry about seeing your ex out... or even worse, do you already know he's got plans with someone else, while YOU stay home and mope? The truth is, while the holidays are often festive time for many who are in love, there is a dark and depressing side to many traditional celebratory days that is painful as well.

As an emotional intuitive and spiritual empath, one of the things that I often try to tell people who struggle with feeling alone on holidays is that there is something FAR bigger going on in your life, and the world around you than most of us recognize.
There is an order, a structure and a story that is unfolding for ALL of us, and a spiritual reason why what you are experiencing right now, no matter how painful... is actually something that will lead you to grow long term.

I believe that each of us comes into this life with a specific set of lessons we are here to learn. Every problem you face, every heartbreak you feel, every conflict and challenge and obstacle that is put in your way, is actually a karmic opportunity to leap frog your current level of enlightened awareness... and move into a more spiritually advanced state.
That person that may have just broken your heart MAY be giving you an incredible gift of growth that will open new doors to bigger and better things.
Or - that person who broke your heart may be learning something that THEY needed to learn themselves, and you are giving THEM the opportunity to experience an emotion that is critical to their own spiritual growth.

In my own life, a decade ago... EVEN as I was first starting a professional career as an empath and intuitive who had helped hundreds of women move forward in their own lives, the first Valentines day I found myself single again, after a bad breakup, I found myself sinking into a state of depression and despair.
When I learned my fiancee at the time had a new girlfriend... and they were actually having dinner at a local restaurant, I actually talked one of my friends into joining me there at the bar, and put on a show like I was having the time of my life.

In truth, it didn't make me feel better. It actually made me feel worse. And made me look small and silly and selfish (and others in the restaurant surely smiled to my face... but behind my back, must have thought I looked truly sad).
Here is the thing you MUST understand, and the life and love lesson I wish I had taught myself back then.
First, there is NO better way to overcome sadness and heartbreak than through helping other people.
 
Talking to others and sharing how you feel is VERY therapeutic.
Empower yourself by putting yourself in places where you can't help but be happy, have fun and enjoy the energy of others.
And stop being self critical - and blaming yourself, or wondering what you did wrong, or trying to replay past events to see how they might have turned out otherwise, if you chose different decisions.

The truth is, your life is unfolding EXACTLY as it's supposed to. Waking up to that fact is very empowering, and the easiest way to overcome any heartbreak or hurt there is. (It's all temporary, and in the end... where it matters most, you are a beautiful being of light and love).
Lastly, help others. Feel grateful for all of the GOOD things you have in your life - and allow yourself to feel immense gratitude for the good (and let the small sadness slip away). Seek out others who have things far worse than you do... and you'll find yourself awake and inspired to move ON with your life... and do the work you are HERE to do (including finding the one TRUE love you'll have forever)!

Want PROOF? Click HERE to find out if he REALLY Loves YOU... in 30 Minutes or Less, Without Having to BEG or embarrass yourself for answers EVER again! You Deserve to Be Happy. Your Future Begins Today.