By Francis Nmeribe
Gifts play a more than appropriate role in relationships. People see gifts as evidence of interest, love and affection. In the game of love, gifts have loomed large as the only evidence of love for most people. Could it be the truth or is it a lie that has been thought to be the truth for centuries that gifts are critical evidence of love?
Many girls, ladies and women have been heard singing out how much the man they have a relationship cared for them. In all cases, the evidence they have is the fact that he lavishes them with gifts. The ability of men in relationships to buy gifts for their ladies has been misconstrued as evidence of their love. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Gifts are keys of control. When you give anyone a gift, you are in a form of authority over the person. Relationships should be run on mutual grounds with both parties mutually respecting one another. When one of the people involved is providing all the gifts, that person automatically take the center stage in the relationship. This position always has the adverse effect of establishing a master and slave type of relationship instead of a mutually beneficial relationship of equals.
When the ladies are the ones that have the financial capacity to provide the gifts, the result is the same. The relationship becomes lopsided. You have one person calling the tunes and the other expected to only dance to the tune. He or she who holes the purse string is in command. This applies in relationships as it does in politics.
Anytime you ask a woman who has steadily received gifts from an admirer, acquaintance or a lover to discuss how much respect she gets from the partner, her response would startle you. It would startle you to learn how much she has been disrespected, her opinion disregarded.
Gifts give the giver inappropriate feeling of authority. They make inappropriate demand for return favours. People who receive gifts are intrinsically obliged to give something in return. Ladies are generally in less able position to give back in the measure they are given in materials. They pay for gifts with their virtue.
For ninety nine per cent of men, gifts - lavish or simple - are given on purpose - for sexual favours in return. Some men veil it in love, but their motives are clear. Some ladies are able to read the motives but feel powerless for reasons that one cannot easily understand to reject the Greek gifts.
Gifts excite ladies in ways that baffles me. There is a total loss of control by ladies in the presence of gifts. You can feel from a distance the impact of a gift on a lady. She is so elated that you can feel the sexual wiles rising to crescendos that turn the male givers. In appreciation they fly into your hands. They lose the inhibitions if there were any before. Very few men would have their mind on the need to respect our woman's right to be virtuous when she reacts to gifts.
Men know this situation. The bad among the men would exploit this without much ado. This is why it is for the pot bellied men, physically ugly as a duck can have at his beck and call, the most esteemed of ladies or young girls. This is why most think that everything about life is a matter of cash.
The only things gifts prove in a relationship are how evil men can be and how much a weakening agent it is for women. It takes away a woman's ability to remain chaste throughout the pre-marriage period of a relationship. Gifts embolden men to take away the virtue of women.
In real love, therefore, gifts do not prove anything.
Francis Nmeribe helps people who desire a joyful relationship in their dating, courtship and marriage relationships. He is the author of numerous great relationship and personal development articles and books including - "Foundation For Joyful Relationships", "Wrong Reasons For Getting Married", "Growing From Your Experiences", "Action Quotes". If you need help with your dating, courtship and marriage relationships, contact Francis Nmeribe at http://www.successpublishers.com.ng. Subscribe to the RSS Feeds and get a free copy of the Ebook version of "Wrong Reasons For Getting Married". Read more free relationship articles on my blog http://marryright.wordpress.com. Email: Francis19561@hotmail.com
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