My True Valentine

By Traci M Jones
My beloved husband is not my true Valentine.
Oh, I love him dearly alright. He and I complement each other nicely - He calms me when I get worked up about something; I'm better with cleaning, while he's Mr. Fix-It. I'm the one who quickly gets people out the door; he remembers the little things I forget when I'm rushed. Yes, I know for certain he's the only man for me. But there is One greater. And I was made to love Him more.

Contrary to what Tom Cruise says, my husband doesn't "complete me." That spot is reserved for the Lover of my soul.

As I watched men gather in the flower section of the grocery store last night, and saw even more this afternoon, I realized what a sad holiday this is (sad in a funny, sarcastic sense) - These poor men were getting last minute gifts because the loves of their lives would be sad, offended, angry [insert your emotion here] if they weren't "surprised" with a gift on this day of Cupid.

Now I'm not one of those feminist types who hates Valentines Day... I've been there. I'm a woman who, just like millions of others, has high hopes that her husband will do something romantic on this day -- or any day! I still look forward to special surprises and loving gestures, and I'll probably always hope for a nice Valentine's Day gift. But the best thing I ever did for our relationship was to realize that there will be plenty of times of disappointment because he is flawed.

[At this point, I imagine lovely classical musical playing in the background that is suddenly scratched to a halt on the record... ] Whoa, whoa, whoa... say what?! This is supposed to be an article about love and romance... now I'm doggin' my man?? What kind of wife am I?
The kind who has finally let her husband off the hook.

I've spent years with high expectations - elated when he met them, disappointed when he didn't. But recently, I've been reading a book with the lovely ladies in my Wednesday Bible study for college students. It's called "Do You Think I'm Beautiful?" and one chapter particularly touched my heart a couple of weeks ago. In this book, author Angela Thomas describes her take on how we were created to love and be loved by God, and I'd like to share an excerpt with you here. I only wish I could read it aloud as you close your eyes and listen because it is just a beautiful picture in my mind:

"When God looks into the eyes of a woman, He sees all the beauty He created there. He sees every potential and every gift. He sees what can be and redeems what has been. He loves the curly hair you wish you were straight. He is taken with your smile and the shape of your nose. He's crazy about big feet and knobby knees and every curve that is particular to you. He is the one who loves the inside and the outside of you. You were all His idea, and you are physically and emotionally beautiful to Him.
... captivated, smitten, fascinated, spellbound, and delighted. That's exactly how the prince feels about the princess in fairy tales. But this sentiment is not fiction. Enthralled is how God in Heaven feels about you. He is taken with you. Undistracted. Intensely interested. Emotionally connected. He enjoys your laughter and takes pleasure in the way you think. He is not bored with you and would never consider you ordinary. There is no way you will ever go unnoticed with God. You are beautiful to Him. Incredibly, breathtakingly beautiful...
You have heard that God loves you, but maybe you've been like me and misunderstood. His love for you is not just a 'whole world in His hands' kind of love. This love is individual. God and you. One-on-one. Intimate. Personal.
God's love for you is passionate and pure and without reservation. He never holds back or plays games with your heart. There are no riddles with God. This kind of love does not stand you up. He always shows up, always remembers, and always keeps His promises. God's love is unrelenting. He does not turn away even if you do. His excitement does not wane. God's love is not some namby-pamby kindergarten crush. He is not fickle. God has seen you across the room, and He cannot take His eyes off you."
- from "Do You Think I'm Beautiful?" by Angela Thomas
You see, those expectations we have of our Valentines are natural. We were made to be doted on and to be cherished. But our standards are way too high for mankind. That's why no man could ever be our true Valentine, no matter how romantic or handsome he is.
With this in mind, we can ALL celebrate Valentine's Day, regardless of our relationship status! Married, single, divorced, widowed... we can all have the most intimate relationship that will never fail or disappoint. The love we receive on earth can bless us and bring us joy, but it is limited. His love has no bounds.

I may not get the perfect gift on Valentines Day. He might forget to take the trash out. There will be times he isn't on time, lets his beard get longer than I like, or doesn't read my mind and take care of something I hoped he would. But that doesn't make him less of a man. It makes him human. And that's exactly what he is.
One of my loveliest friends inspired this post when she sent me a text earlier today that read, "Have a John 3:16 day! The best Valentine of all!" Amen! My one and only true Valentine.
Now you can close your eyes. Close them and feel His unrelenting love reaching out to you in fascination and delight... and enjoy your Valentines Day.

"I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine." - Song of Solomon 6:3
P.S. Honey, if you're reading this, don't be confused by the words "off the hook." That doesn't mean you don't ever have to go out of your way to do nice things for me. Please remember, after all, that I am also human.

The expectations we have of our Valentines are natural. We were made to be doted on and to be cherished. But our standards are way too high for mankind. That's why no man could ever be our true Valentine, no matter how romantic or handsome he is. That spot is reserved for our Heavenly Father.