Relationship Advice - What Is Needed To Begin A Secure Relationship?

By Beverleigh H Piepers

The beginning of a relationship often sets the tone for whether or not it has a chance of surviving. Most of the time if the relationship is going to make it, then it happens naturally without putting a lot of work into it. Besides, if you have to put too much effort into it, then you may want to question why it isn't coming along easier.
For those looking for a secure relationship there are a few key essentials to get things started out on the right foot...

1. Connected emotionally. This means both parties have more than a surface interest in the relationship. Both people have to be willing to open up to each other about anything. This is easier for women since men try to tune out their partner as soon as they feel as if she is getting too close or if they witness an emotion they are not comfortable with, maybe one that reminds them of something negative with a former partner.
If a man is willing to express their feelings, they feel as if they will be criticized by other men and be labeled as "feminine". But this is exactly what a woman wants. She wants to know she will never have to guess what her partner is thinking, or feeling.

2. Connected communication. Opening up is hard enough but some men can't even get past talking in general. Their idea of talking is asking "what's for dinner", "are we out of milk", "did you pick up the dry cleaning", etc. Once you try to pry more out of them than that, they seize up. Women can be equally difficult to have close communication with, although it isn't quite as common for them.
Having connected communication means being honest with one another. It means having a level of trust so you don't feel you have to worry about your partner trying to hide anything from you. It also means you are willing to share more with your partner than you do with anyone else. And above all, it's really comfortable to do so. There is no embarrassment. There is no hiding. There is no worry about reprisal.

3. Connected physically. You were first attracted to this person for a reason. You felt a spark you don't usually feel with anyone else. There is a reason why you only feel that way about your partner: because they are "the one". Embrace it and take advantage of the fact you found each other.
Learn about yourself... what emotions are you feeling? Are destructive emotions at the heart of any problems you are experiencing? If so, maybe you need to get control of what you are really telling yourself. Look at your beliefs, they can ruin a relationship.

For nearly 25 years Beverleigh Piepers has searched for and found the principles to help you get to the root causes of your crisis.
The solution is not in the endless volumes of information you find across the internet, or the advice your friends give... it's in yourself; the thoughts that make you who you are.