Sunday, March 3, 2013

Suspicion Ruins Relationships: How to Stop It


By Hannah E Fairfield

Are you one of those women who can't stand to not know where her man is and what he's doing? If he doesn't pick up the phone on the first ring, do you get nervous? When you finally do see him, do you question him on every detail of the time you spent apart? These are all major signs of jealousy, and this could be devastating to your relationship. While some insecurity is normal, acting on it is a sign of weakness. You need to learn how to stop being suspicious or you could lose your man forever.
The first thing you have to do is realize that these insecurities are your own problem, not his. You have to know and understand that your jealous behavior is a result of something wrong in your heart, not necessarily something wrong in your relationship. Perhaps you've been cheated on in the past, or maybe you're just nervous because you care about him so much. Either way, you need to recognize that the problem lies within you and it must be addressed by you. Keep in mind that he's dating you because he chose you; there is a reason he wants to be with you. Focus on the positive aspects of yourself and your relationship and these insecurities will begin to fade.

You must also learn to trust the guy you're dating. Sure, some men cheat and lie, but that is not all of them. Any guy would get irritated if his girlfriend was constantly questioning his every move. Your fears are based in something within yourself, whether it is a negative past or a general lack of confidence. But if you want the relationship to succeed, you absolutely must understand that he is not to blame for these insecurities.

If you find your insecurities crippling, perhaps it's time to discuss it with your partner. Don't be accusatory and don't make him out to be the bad guy. Rather, let him know what you are feeling and why. If he really cares for you, he will help you work through the problem. But that does not mean he can do all the work for you! You must learn to handle your negative feelings about yourself and your relationship, because when you can control them you can reason them away.
Treating a partner with constant suspicion can easily be the death of any relationship. When you learn how to deal with the insecurities that cause these feelings, you will have a healthier relationship and feel better about yourself, too.

Hannah Fairfield is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.

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