He's Married - What Do I Do?

By Hannah E Fairfield

Are you in love with a man who is married to someone else? Do you think it may be time to end the relationship with him before things get more complicated? Will it be too difficult to get over him? Believe it or not, lots of women have found themselves in your very situation. Deciding how to handle it is not easy and can lead to many hurt feelings and broken hearts.
Analyzing your feelings for him is a good place to start. Are you truly in love with this man, or you in love with wanting something that is unattainable? A man who has committed his life to someone can subconsciously appeal to you for a variety of reasons. You go in knowing that the relationship is likely to fail, and oddly enough it can be a comfort knowing that if it does, it will not be your fault.

Trying to gauge whether or not your feelings for him are legitimate is not an easy task. You must look at how your relationship has progressed. Being "in love" typically means that you are capable of sacrifice to make the other person feel whole and happy - is an extramarital affair really what this guy needs to feel complete? Or are you letting him take advantage of you, as well as his wife?
Another thing to take into consideration is the reality of whether or not this relationship would work, even if he were to leave his wife for you. Every day he would face ridicule for abandoning his marriage, and you will never be wholly accepted by the people in his life as anything but the "other woman." Besides the weight of responsibility, you will always know in the back of your mind that if he cheated on her, he may very well cheat on you. Many people who cheat do so for the thrill as opposed to fulfilling any legitimate desires that are left unattended in the current relationship.

The last thing to realize is that he is probably not going to leave her for you. He married this woman, and whatever reason he is seeking out your companionship is not likely to end that. Divorce is a long and painful procedure. This is especially true when there is money or children involved. Do you truly believe that his wife will give him an easy divorce when she realizes he's been having an affair? He knows this and you need to, as well. Even if his marriage does end, the divorce and ensuing legal and emotional battles could take months, even years. Are you ready for that kind of commitment to a man that couldn't keep his?

Keep in mind that there are at least three people in this scenario who can be hurt. No matter what he tells you about his current relationship, his wife is still a person with feelings and desires. And if he is willing to hurt the woman he married, what makes you think he won't do the same to you later on down the line?

Hannah Fairfield is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.