By Karen Tallkat Conley
"It was a million tiny little things that when you added them all up it meant we were supposed to be together."
-Tom Hanks, Sleepless in Seattle
I'm going to come right out and say it: The concept of one perfect romantic soul mate destined to connect with you in this life is a myth. It does not exist.
So there you go. Sorry.
The phrase soul mate does have a great ring to it though.
In fact, I am so sure about the myth of the soul mate that I will back it up with an equally misleading bit of dialogue from the film, Jerry McGuire, "You complete me" and the line from Love Story, "Love means never having to say you are sorry."
In my line of work as a psychic medium consultant one of the most common client concerns is what I call The - LUV - Question. The love question is so frequent that psychic ability is hardly necessary in order to know that is an issue most clients want to address in the consult!
Many are searching for what is referred to as the Soul Mate. "Is he my soul mate? Am I his twin flame?" "What about relationship karma?" "I was sure he was my soul mate, a shaman even confirmed it and blessed us, but... " Somehow it all went downhill only to crash land in spite of the so called blessing.
Whoops.
It is as if we imagine following the spiritual karmic breadcrumbs will lead us to 'the one.'
We have many relationships - friends and lovers - that are about soul and personal development. Some promote balance in us, others are based on powerful chemistry, or enhance our spiritual growth. A few just annoy the heck out of us and yes, even those have a purpose!
Everyone wants to connect in a truly satisfying, lasting way. This adds a certain joi de vivre to our lives that is certainly very worthwhile, robust and wholesome.
In honor of Valentine's Day, the holiday that can stump, snag or trip up the best of us - whether in a relationship or not - here are five ways common sense ways to attract the love vibe into your life:
1. GIVE UP THE SOUL MATE MYTH. There really is not one perfect magical romantic partner resembling the cover of a romance novel waiting for you and only you. All relationships are meant to teach us and assist us on our soul journey. You are not half a person looking for a mysterious matching half to make you whole. You are a complete and whole package just as you are. If you feel incomplete you will attract others who feel the same way.
2. SURRENDER YOUR AGENDA.Too many of us have huge laundry lists of traits we are looking for in partner. This list thingy can get mixed up with the Law Of Attraction philosophy. You think you are sending out the vibe of what you want but you may be setting up a failure by trying to exactly match a living breathing being with your list. Know what you want but be flexible. Let nature take it's course. You don't want to force the wrong person into a soul mate box.
3. DON'T BE TOO CRITICAL. You might miss out on something wonderful. When I met Michael, I almost disqualified him because he was my height. I'm tall and thought I had to have a taller-than-me-kind-of-man. You tall gals get it, right? One night after a date we were both thinking we were not going to see each other again. I leaned toward him to make a point and (no kidding!) "something" that felt like a hand on the back of my head pushed me toward him. I lost my balance on the footstool and landed in front of his face. To my surprise, I kissed him! I NEVER kiss first, ever! There was, to our mutual surprise, a very real chemistry and potential we both overlooked. Sometimes the inner whisper can be a SHOVE when needed. I could have missed my beautiful relationship because of my personal hesitation and hard headed kind of shallow criteria. We have been married for sixteen amazing years. Remember to be willing to take reasonable risks and to go with the flow of life.
4. TRUST YOUR GUT. Practice relying on your inner voice or what I call knowing - on a regular basis. Make the voice a familiar one. Get to know that voice. This will help you find many soul connections (some romantic, some project related, or some just valuable friendships you can count on in life.) The more you practice, the better you will become in receiving and recognizing this input. I consider trusting the gut, listening to the voice or whatever works best for you- to be the most overlooked asset in finding and attracting love.
5. DON'T LOOK TOO HARD. Make your life so enjoyable and satisfying that finding love just falls into place. It seems that the paradox of love finding you when you are not looking is actually true. Ask for what you want, listen to your gut guidance. Be sure to act on the inner voice. This inner voice stuff is a relationship in itself and well worth cultivating.
What if you are doing everything right and its still not happening? There are two reasons. One is timing. Your timing will eventually reach a matching point along the line with a mate so remain in a state of allowing.
The other thing which most likely applies to the situation is: You are blocked. Blocks occur when the conscious and subconscious are at odds. Pay attention to your thoughts you will locate any hidden blocks.
In closing I offer you the insightful written words of a dear mentor, Dr. Lauren Thibodeau PhD, a psychic medium and professor in NYC. Check out her wonderful book - Natural-Born Soulmates: Follow Your Inner Wisdom to Lasting Love. It is the 411 on romance based on real life minus the New Age hokey baloney.
"So one thing I want to say about life is don't be scared and don't hang back, and most of all-don't waste it." Joan W. Blos
http://www.karentallkatconley.com/Blog.aspx
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