Can I Change My Abusive Relationship?

By Hannah E Fairfield

Are you currently involved with a man who is aggressive? Are you confused, scared or depressed because the man you love has physically or verbally harmed you? Have you thought of leaving him but haven't made a decision yet? Sadly, you are not the only one. Women all over the world are trapped in abusive relationships where the men they love treat them poorly. You may reason that he has only struck you once, but even that is unacceptable. It's only "only once" until the next time he hurts you, and sometimes these situations can get so out of hand that irreparable damage is done. The thought of leaving your abusive boyfriend or husband may be scary, but it something you should consider for your own safety.

There Is Help Out There
For most women, the easiest people to reach out to are family and friends. Choose people that you love and trust, people who care about you and will protect you when you need it most. During this time it is very important to stay close to the people who love and support you without violence.
If you are nervous or embarrassed about approaching friends or family with your domestic violence issues, there are many organizations out there that exist solely to help women like you. Often times these organizations are even staffed by women who have been in your position. This is a good way to seek counseling, advice and even obtain various resources to help you when you decide to leave, such as shelter or legal councel. It is advisable to not telling your abusive partner that you are going to be seeking help as he may try to circumvent your efforts.

Be Strong
If his abuse is only through his language, make it known that you are a strong woman who will not take that kind of treatment. If he is regularly hurting your feelings, putting you down or otherwise belittling you, don't stand for it. If he continues to berate you, walk away. Do not stoop to his level as this can only escalate the problem of aggression. Let him know that you will not stick around if he continues to verbally abuse you, and make sure that you don't.

Knowing When It's Time to Leave
If your boyfriend or husband is regularly making you uncomfortable, upset or physically hurting you, it is time to go. Many of us give men far too many chances to change or to rectify their poor behavior, but if that change was possible and your partner really wanted to save his relationship with you, it would not be a struggle. If he strikes you, go. Don't empathize with him, don't allow him to explain or apologize, and don't wait around for him to do it again. There is no excuse for a man to ever, ever assault the woman he is in a relationship with. This is not love, this is control. You will not be able to salvage this relationship, so it is best to cut your losses and seek help immediately. If you fear for your safety, contact trusted family members, friends, a domestic abuse crisis center, or even your local police.

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Hannah Fairfield is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.